Two steps forward and a leap behind

Know what it feels to be stuck,

Reasoning at times and at others just cursing luck; 

At first there was no will 

So deep I've fallen that now it's a treacherous climb uphill;

Every rendezvous makes me question why,

Sometimes myself, why I just can't seem to say a good bye;

Its two steps forward and a leap behind, 

There's got to be a way which I refuse to find;

You're oblivious of this fact, 

That's what compels you to question your acts;

May be you'll understand, but I'm certain you will not,

How do I even begin to explain in what I'm caught? 

I am not being a good friend, but was I ever one?

Or was it just along the way, I found being with you was fun;

So far we've come and yet I haven't moved a shoe,

long gone are the days of battling the blues; 

When will I accept what is,

And give up on what'll never be?

Or may be sometime someday, 

You'll eventually see; 

Life's funny the way it is, 

We despise the things we readily get;

For we always are worth something a little more, 

For there ain't no thrill if the ship is harbored at the shore;

Are you a best friend? Do you deserve to know?

Or it'll just be seeds of erosion that I'll sow? 

Would I lose you then? Do I really have you now?

I want to be done with this! Seriously tell me, How?

For after all, every time

It's two steps forward and a leap behind~~**